My Dad Always Said, If Someone Hands

My Jokes Are In My Head And I Have A Duplicate Copy Of My Jokes In A Lot Of British Comics' Heads, Where They Are Safe.

Girls Throw Their Panties On The Stage, But Rarely If Ever Do They Fit.

Women: You Can't Live With Them, And You Can't Get Them To Dress Up In A Skimpy Little Nazi Costume And Beat You With A Warm Squash Or Something.

My Mother Was Like A Sister To Me, Only We Didn't Have Sex Quite So Often.

Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier Every Year. Like, This Time, It's On December 25th.