My Mother Was Like A Sister To

I'm Not As Good A Swimmer As I Used To Be - Thanks To Evolution.

I Had A Very Close Relationship With Another Kid When I Was Growing Up. I Was His Imaginary Friend.

New York's Such A Wonderful City. Although I Was At The Library Today. The Guy Was Very Rude. I Said, "i'd Like A Card." He Says, "you Have To Prove You're A Citizen Of New York." So I Stabbed Him.

I'm Learning Cuban. It's Like Spanish, But With Fewer Words For Luxury Items.

Even The Worst Comic Is At Least Somewhat Entertaining, If Only In A Pathological Way, For Five Minutes.