I Gave A Funny Speech At My

You Know Who Wears Sunglasses Inside? Blind People And Assholes.

The Closest I Ever Came To Death Was Masturbating With A 104-degree Temperature.

Actually I Walk Around With The Emmy Wherever I Go, But I'm Very Casual About It.

Hear The Birds? Sometimes I Like To Pretend That I'm Deaf And I Try To Imagine What It's Like Not To Be Able To Hear Them. It's Not That Bad.

If I Wasn't A Golfer, I Would Still Be Miserable - But Not As Miserable.