We Can Choose Our Family. We Can't

I've Already Produced One Hour Specials For Other Comedians And I Have A Tv Show Called Stand Up Revolution Where I Showcase New Talent And So I'd Like To Continue To Do Stuff Like That And Help Out The Next Guy.

Now People Are Coming Up To Meet Me At My Shows And They're Doing My Bits! One Guy Earlier Was At 7-11 And He Comes Up To Me And Goes "you Want A Falcon?".

By The End Of The Semester [in The High School] I Was The Only One Up In Front Of The Class Everyday. Actually I Could Have Passed The Class Four Times Over Because Every Time You Got In Front Of The Class You Got Extra Credit.that Was The Only Class I Got An A In And It Was The Funniest Report Card Because It Read Speech - A But Everything Else Was Just D, D, D, D.

I Drink Diet Coke So I Can Eat Regular Cake.

I'm Not Fat. It's Just My Awesomeness Swelling Up Inside Of Me.