There's So Much Botox Around Now That

If Anybody Comes Up To You And Says, My Kid Is A Conservative - Why Is That? You Say, Remember In The 60′s When We Told You If You Kept Using Drugs Your Kids Would Be Mutants?

A Yuppie Is Someone Who Believes It's Courageous To Eat In A Restaurant That Hasn't Been Reviewed Yet.

You Know What I Want You To Do? I Want You To Blow Out The Candle And Curse The Darkness.

Professional Comedians, Surprisingly, Have A Lack Of Humor. They're Insensitive To The Insanity Of Our Times.

In The Forties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be A Gi Or A Jock. In The Fifties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Jewish. In The Sixties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Black. In The Seventies, To Get A Girl You've Got To Be A Girl.