My Wife Calls Our Waterbed The Dead

You Can Lead A Man To Congress, But You Can't Make Him Think.

For Christmas The Just Came Out With A Battery-operated Battery. But The Batteries Aren't Included.

In The Suburbs It's Hard To Buy Your Christmas Gifts Early In The Year. You Never Know Who Your Friends Will Be In December.

My Wife Is A Real Puritan. She Thinks Licking The Stamp On The Envelope Of A Valentine Is Foreplay.

It's Rough To Go Through Life With Your Contents Looking As If They Settled During Shipping.