If You Have More Fish On Your

Sophisticated People Invest Their Money In Stock Portfolios. Rednecks Invest Their Money In Commemorative Plates.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Own All The Components Of Soap On A Rope Except The Soap.

There's A Whole Segment Of The Population With A Mentality That Bases Good Times On Where They Can Go And What They Can Buy.

My Wife Is So Analytical With Raising Kids, And I Am Not. My Feeling Is If They Turn Out Good, Then That Means I Was A Good Daddy And Put A Lot Of Effort Into It. If They Turn Out Bad, It Means They Took After Her Side Of The Family.

I've Got Keys To Crap I've Never Owned. You Put All My Keys Together I Could Be A High School Janitor Tonight.