If Beauty Is In The Eye Of

I'll Tell Ya, I Don't Get No Respect... The Other Day, I Got Back From A Business Trip. I Got In A Cab And Said To The Driver, "hey! Take Me To Where The Action Is!" So Ya Know Where He Took Me? He Took Me To My House!

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Told My Mother, I'm Gonna Run Away From Home. She Said, On Your Mark.

I Walked In On My Wife And The Milkman, The First Thing She Says Is "don't Tell The Butcher"!

At My Age I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.

I'm A Bad Lover. Once I Caught A Peeping Tom Booing Me.