I Took The Wife's Family Out For

I Can Always Tell When The Mother In Law's Coming To Stay; The Mice Throw Themselves On The Traps.

A Square Egg In A Dish Of Lentils Won't Make A Marrow Bend With The Wind, Nor Will It Make Rhubarb Grow Up The Milkmaid's Leg.

My Lad Chewed And Swallowed A Dictionary. We Gave Him Epsom Salts - But We Can't Get A Word Out Of Him.

I Took The Wife's Family Out For Tea Biscuits. They Weren't Too Happy About Having To Give Blood Though.

My Mother-in-law Has So Many Wrinkles, When She Smiles She Looks Like A Venetian Blind.