I Saved A Girl From Being Attacked

I Worked In A Pet Store And People Would Ask How Big I Would Get.

My Wife Can't Cook At All. She Made Chocolate Mousse. An Antler Got Stuck In My Throat.

Look Out For Number One And Try Not To Step In Number Two.

My Cousin Is Gay, I Always Tell Him That In Our Family Tree, He's In The Fruit Section.

I Told My Doctor I Wonna Stop Aging, He Gave Me A Gun!