I Like To Play Chess With Bald

They Call Me Good Time Emo. Because I Love A Good Time! And My Name Is Emo.

I Was The Kid Next Door's Imaginary Friend.

My Dad Always Said, If Someone Hands You A Lemon, Make Lemonade. Plus That Also Works Wonderfully As A Metaphor.

When Deciding Between Two Competing Theories, Always Go With The One That Doesn't Involve A Magic Spell.

In College I Was One Of Six Males Who Auditioned For Five Male Roles In A Comedy Play. I Was The One Rejected. At That Moment I Made Up My Mind Never To Place Myself At The Mercy Of Some Pompous, Goateed, Black-turtleneck-shirted "should I Yay Him Or Nay Him?" Pantywaist Ever Again.