I Don't Really Tell A Joke Per

Everything I Do On Stage, I Made Up In Saloons. I Started Doing It In Front Of People, And That Became My Performance. I Never Had Writers.

When Someone Says To Me, Do You Do Stand-up I Say Absolutely Not. I Like To Think Of It As A Theatrical Performance. With Me The Show Changes Maybe Five To Ten Percent Every Night. Of Course, Whatever I See In Front Of Me And Sometimes I Get On A Little Run About It And It Changes The Show. And My Delivery Is Such That People Who Have Seen Me Many Times Say Gee, I Never Heard That Before. Actually, They Have, But I Might Have Changed It Around.

Smartphones. Who Cares? Smartphones. I Only Have Dummy Phones.

I've Never Been Mean-spirited, In My Opinion. I Never Did Anything Below The Belt.

You Throw Your Best Punch, Otherwise Don't Do It.