I Can't Get No Respect.

If It Wasn't For Pick-pockets I'd Have No Sex Life At All.

I Told My Dentist My Teeth Are Going Yellow. He Told Me To Wear A Brown Tie.

My Wifes Cooking Is So Bad The Flys Fix Our Screens

I'm Tellin' Ya I Get No Respect. When I Was In Switzerland, I Got An Obscene Yodel.

...went To A Bar For A Few Drinks. The Bartender Asked What I Wanted. "surprise Me", I Said. So He Showed Me A Naked Picture Of My Wife.