You Only Think Of The Best Comeback

According To A New Poll, Republicans Are More Likely To Have A Doughnut For Breakfast, While Democrats Prefer To Eat Bagels And Croissants. While Independents Are That Annoying Friend Who's Still Looking At The Menu After 15 Minutes.

At A Recent Education Summit, President Obama Admitted That He Can't Rap. When They Heard, Americans Said, 'good!'

A Man In Georgia Was Arrested For Burglary After He Left His Facebook Account Open On The Victim's Computer. But This Is Nice: He's Only Been In Jail A Few Hours, And His Status Already Says "in A Relationship!

After Months Of Negotiations, Iran Has Finally Agreed To Reduce Its Nuclear Weapons Program. Which Was Great Until Putin Showed Up And Said, 'hi, I'm Here About Craigslist Ad For Nukes.'

The Pentagon Banned The Army From Using Chinese-made Berets. In A More Veiled Slap At The Chinese, The Pentagon Also Banned Any Alternative Form Of Checkers.