You Might Be A Redneck If You

You Might Be A Redneck If...the Most Serious Loss From The Earthquake Was Your Conway Twitty Record Collection.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Refused To Watch The Academy Awards Since Smokey And The Bandit Was Snubbed For Best Picture.

It's Not My Dreams That Get Me In Trouble, It's What My Wife Dreams I Did. My Wife Punched Me In The Middle Of The Night; I Woke Up And Went Oww! What Was That For?, And She Goes I Dreamt You Were Making Out With Faith Hill. I Said I Wasn't Dreaming Anything! Send Her Over To My Dreams, And We'll Both Be Happy.

If Most People Wanted To Be Incognito, They Put On A Fake Beard Or Mustache. If I Wanted To I'd Just Shave Mine Off.

As An Individual, As A Household, You Can't Spend More Money Than You're Bringing In. You Can Do It For A Little While, But You End Up Going Broke And You End Up Losing Everything You Have. That Is The Path That We're On As A Country, And It Scares Me To Death.