You Gotta Fight For Your Right To

I Was In The Pritikin Center In Santa Monica Once, Trying To Lose 30 Or 40 Pounds In A Month. I'd Work... On A Treadmill And With The Weights, But It Was Driving Me Nuts. So I Escaped. Tom Arnold Picked Me Up And We Went To Le Dome And Had Tons Of Desserts.

First Off, I Am 35 Years Old, I Am Divorced, And I Live In A Van Down By The River.

The Point Is, How Do You Know The Guarantee Fairy Isn't A Crazy Glue Sniffer.

I Used To Think That You Could Get To A Level Of Success Where The Laws Of The Universe Didn't Apply. But They Do. It's Still Life On Life's Terms, Not On Movie-star Terms. I Still Have To Work At Relationships. I Still Have To Work On My Weight And Some Of My Other Demons.

I'm Just Dandy, I Got A Bowl Of Chocolate Pudding In My Underpants!