When I Turned About 12 Or 13,

At One Point In The Mid-eighties I Shared A Promoter With The Smiths. One Night, We Were Sitting Backstage When Morrissey Burst In, Utterly Distraught, Sobbing His Heart Out. Turns Out Someone Had Thrown A Sausage At Him On Stage During 'meat Is Murder.'

I Have Never Sold My Story, Done Hello! Magazine, Any Of That Stuff. I'm Not Guilty Of Exploiting My Private Life For Cash And Then Saying, 'oh, I Don't Want To Talk About My Private Life.' I've Never Crossed That Line.

If You Became A Comedian In The '80s, You Had To Work The Circuit And Make People Laugh. Canned Laughter Is Cheating.

I Looked At Longevity In Show Business When I Was About 13, And The People Who Seemed To Have Longevity Were The Ones Who'd Spent Quite A Bit Of Time Learning About What They Were Doing Before They Made It.

It Seems Like A Contradiction, But The Shy Person Who Is A Performer Actually Does Make Sense, Because In A Way, When You're Young And Shy, Making People Laugh Is A Good Way To Make Friends. It's An Instant Connection.