What's This About Rice Milk? I Didn't

At Any Minute, I Am Four Minutes From A Poncho.

I Think It Would Be Frustrating To Be A Match Maker. "what Do You Do?" "i'm A Match Maker" "aw, That's Really Romantic" "no, Umm... I Actually... Never Mind"

I Was Stuck In Traffic And I Looked In The Mirror And In The Car Behind Me There Was A Couple Having A Horrible Argument And Right Below Their Image It Said "objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear". I Just Thought, Man I Hope So Because She Was Pretty Mad.

I Used To Play Sports. Then I Realized You Can Buy Trophies. Now I Am Good At Everything.

You Know What's The Greatest Part Of Anything Ever In The History Of Everything? Exaggeration. No, Wait; It's Correcting Yourself. No, Better Yet, It's Making Lists.