We're A Heart Attack Away From Losing

My Father-in-law Gets Up At 5 O'clock In The Morning And Watches The Discovery Channel. I Don't Know Why There's This Big Rush To Do This.

Every Generation Thinks They Invented Sex, Which Is The Stupidest Assumption In The World Because If That Was The Case, You Wouldn't Even Be Here.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Worn A Dress That Is Strapless With A Bra That Isn't.

You Might Be A Redneck If You're A Lite Beer Drinker, Because You Start Drinking When It Gets Light.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Handkerchief Doubles As Your Shirt Sleeve.