Welfare Is Monetary Methadone.

As I Said In My Last Book, Birds Are Mean. They're The Only Pet That, When They Escape, The Owners Are Relieved. You Can Tell A Species Is Evil By Doing This Simple Math. If My Blond Lab Molly Was The Size Of T-rex, That Would Just Mean More Kibble, More Work For The Gardener In The Backyard, And A Harder Time Moving Her To My Wife's Side Of The Bed At Night. If Birds Were The Size Of A T-rex, The Streets Would Be Littered With Human Remains.

I Like My Parents But They Are Just Not Good Parents. They Are Nice Enough People. I'm Not Interested In Hurting Their Feelings.

I Have No Connection With Hollywood. I'm Not Interested. I Don't Care.

Then There's The In-between, Not A Lipstick Lesbian, Not A Butch Dyke. I Think That Is What I'd Be, A Sweatpants Lesbian.

Life Is Just The Time Between Crapping Yourself.