There Are Two Seasons In Scotland: June

Paddy Was In The Delivery Room When The Midwife Handed Him A Black Baby. "is This Yours?" She Asked "probably" Said Paddy "she Burns Everything Else"

When I Was 12, We Went From Glasgow To Aberdeen On A School Trip. It Was Called Fresh Air Fortnight.

I Have Been Made Redundant Before And It Is A Terrible Blow; Redundant Is A Rotten Word Because It Makes You Think You Are Useless.

I Was Brought Up A Catholic, For That You Get An A Level In Guilt.

The Strangest Thing Is At Tea Breaks, Or Coffee Breaks Or Lunch, You Forget You're A Zombie. And You're Talking About Politics To Somebody At The Table And You Forget That You Have A Bullet Hole In Your Forehead.