The Truth Is Somewhere In The Middle

When I Play Myself, I Want To Be A Slightly Better Person. It Just Agrees. Everything I Play About Myself Is Kind Of True, But It's Amplified. We All Edit, Don't We? If You're Self-aware, You Stop Yourself - You Know How To Behave Properly.

I Don't Like Big Feet. It Reminds Me Of Gammon.

You Really Have Got Lots Of Issues! Yeah, Of 'what Car Magazine'!

I Happen To Have A Public Profile. Ditto Newspaper Editors. It's A Result Of What I Do, Not An End.

The Trick Is Always To Write In Pairs Because If At Least Two People Find It Funny, You've Immediately Halved The Odds Of It Not Being Funny.