The Bark On The Tree Was Just

When Anything Bad Happens To Me Or Someone I Know, I Always Know Who To Blame. My No-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather.

When I Write A Novel, Every Word Is Mine. I Welcome Suggestions From My Editor, But In The End, I Make All The Final Decisions.

I Want Kids To Think That Reading Can Be Just As Much Fun And More So Than Tv Or Video Games Or Whatever Else They Do. I Think Any Other Kind Of Message Or Morals That I Might Teach Is Secondary To First Just Enjoying A Book.

I May Have Ruined My Life, But At Least I Got To Eat Some Really Good Chinese Food.

Warning: Do Not Read This Story Right After Eating. In Fact, Don't Read It Right Before Eating Either. In Fact, Just To Be Safe, Don't Read This Story If You're Ever Planning To Eat Again.