Subjectivity Is Objective.

Sex On Twitter Can't Hurt You - Unless You Fall Off.

In Every Generation There Are A Few People Who Are Authentically Funny. The Cosmetics Change. You May Not Be Able To Articulate It, And You May Laugh At Them And Get A Certain Amount Of Enjoyment. But When You're Asleep At Night, And You Wake Up At 3 In The Morning, And You're Alone In Your Bed, You Know Who's Really Funny.

The Last Time I Was Inside A Woman Was When I Went To The Statue Of Liberty.

For Some Reason I've Always Had An Irrational Love For New York. There's No Reason That You Would Necessarily Like It On Paper. It's Very Expensive.

My Grandfather Was A Very Insignificant Man, Actually. At His Funeral His Hearse Followed The Other Cars.