I Recently Attended A Pro-drug Rally... In

I Don't Want To Do 20 Minutes On Donald Trump. I Want To Do 10 Minutes And Move On. I Wouldn't Even Do That With A Live Show, Because I Don't Want It To Feel Like "an Evening Of Political Comedy."

I Have Always Tried To Use Humor To "help Ever" And "hurt Never," For I Find That To Laugh Is Like Swallowing A Secret That Santa Claus Farted.

I Love Doing Stuff With Todd Barry And Jon Benjamin. We Give The Stage To Good Bands And Funny People.

What President Of The Airline Is Doing Is, He's Urging Everyone To Give Up Their Frequent Flyer Miles For Sick Kids... But As I Was Reading This, There Were Two Empty Seats Next To Me. Why Can't Sick Kids Sit There? If They're So Concerned With Sick Kids, Shouldn't They Have Like A Pen Of Sick Kids Next To The Gate?

There's The Disingenuous Duplicitousness, But You Can Apply That To Every Politician, Really.