She's Evil. Evil, Evil, Evil. I Want

For A While He'd Tried Molding Himself Into The Tragic Romantic Hero, Brooding And Staring Clench-jawed Off Into Space As He Composed Dark Verse In His Head. But It Turned Out That Trying To Appear Tragic In Incontinence, Indiana, Was Redundant, And His Mother Kept Shouting At Him And Making Him Forget His Rhymes. "tommy, If You Keep Grinding Your Teeth Like That, They'll Wear Away And You'll Have To Have Dentures Like Aunt Ester." Tommy Only Wished His Beard Was As Heavy As Aunt Ester's---then He Could Stare Out Over The Moors While He Stroked It Pensively.

The Value Of The Work We Do Is The Value We Give To It.

I Could Stand On My Head And Flick The Bean Right There At The Dinner Table And My Mom Would Be All, "honey, Christmas Is Family Time, We Should Be Together" And Make Me Finish In Front Of Everyone.

...as If Someone Had Thrown A Hand Grenade Into The Middle Of A Teddy Bear Orgy And The Only Survivors Had Had Their Fur Blown Off.

It Was Sometimes Difficult To Reconcile A Man's Talents With His Personality.