She Wanted An Italian Sports Car -

I Live To Laugh, And I Laugh To Live.

I Like To Think Of Myself As The Middleman Between Fred Allen And Henny Youngman.

The Only Thing That Can Break A Piece Of Valentine Candy Is Another Piece Of Valentine Candy.

War Toys Are Scary. They Have A Rocket Launcher With A Bayonet Attached, In Case You Miss.

I Was In A Department Store And I Saw A Weird-looking Gadget. I Asked The Young Saleslady What It Was. She Answered, "it Doesn't Do Anything. It's Just A Christmas Gift."