Personally, I Never Drink On Oscar Nights,

The Only Thing Chicken About Israel Is Their Soup.

I Don't Do A Lot Of Political Jokes. Too Many Are Getting Elected.

A Photographer Kept Shooting Me Every Time I Swung. I Was Very Flattered Until I Found Out He Was From Field And Stream.

No One Party Can Fool All Of The People All Of The Time; That's Why We Have Two Parties

In His Prime, The Young Comic Walked Onto A Stage With The Confidence Of A Man Who Owned It, And By The Time He Walked Off, He Did.