Only Dumb People Try To Impress Smart

I Never Really Write The Jokes. I Just Sit Down Over A Week Or Two And Try To Figure Out What I Want To Talk About. Once I Narrow That Down, Then I Start Working On The Material, Like "how Do I Make This Stuff Funny?"

My Goal In Life Was To Host The Mtv Awards, Because It's The Awards Show That Prince Sang On, And That Was The Awards Show That Eddie Murphy Hosted And Arsenio Hosted.

Stand-up Comedy Is Like The Lowest Medium In All Of Show Business In Levels Of Respect.

A Cat, By Any Other Name, Is Still A Sneaky Little Furball That Barfs On The Furniture.

When You Become A Comedian A Lot Of Stuff That Made You Laugh Before Just Stops. You Stop Watching Your Old Cartoons You Used To Watch. You Stop Reading The Funnies. It's Like Working At A Strip Club. You Don't Come Home And Turn On The Playboy Channel.