Of Course I Don't Look Busy, I

Recently I Quit Caffeine. My Doctor Seems To Think That 17 Diet Cokes Per Day Is Too Much. In Case You Ever Consider Getting Off Caffeine Yourself, Let Me Explain The Process. You Begin By Sitting Motionlessly In A Desk Chair. Then You Just Keep Doing That Forever Because Life Has No Meaning.

Dogbert: Scientists Have Discovered The Gene That Makes Some People Love Golf. Dilbert: How Can They Tell It's The Golf Gene? Dogbert: It's Plaid And It Lies.

Reporters Are Faced With The Daily Choice Of Painstakingly Researching Stories Or Writing Whatever People Tell Them. Both Approaches Pay The Same.

The Surest Way To Identify Those Who Won't Succeed At Weight Loss Is That They Tend To Say Things Like "my Goal Is To Lose Ten Pounds." Weight Targets Often Work In The Short Run. But If You Need Willpower To Keep The Weight Off, You're Doomed In The Long Run. The Only Way To Succeed In The Long Run Is By Using A System That Bypasses Your Need For Willpower.

By Definition, Risk-takers Often Fail. So Do Morons. In Practice It's Difficult To Sort Them Out.