Next To Gold And Jewelry, Health Is

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.

Once My Husband Said To Me, 'i'm Going To Have Some Coffee. Do You Want Me To Put Some Hot Water On For You?' I Thought That Was The Least He Could Do Considering I Was Giving Birth.

Keep At Least One Window Pane Clean To Check The Weather. Once When I Didn't Do This I Sent The Kids Off With Umbrellas For Six Weeks Straight.

No Matter What Time Your Guests Arrive, Pretend They're Early, So Naturally You're Not Ready.

There's Such A Buildup Of Crud In My Oven, There's Only Room To Bake A Single Cupcake.