My Mom Took Me To A Dog

When We Got Married My Wife Told Me I Was One In A Million. I Found Out She Was Right.

My Son's An Idiot. His Teacher Asked Him To Spell Mississippi. He Asked Which One? The River Or The State?

You Live With Life's Disappointments And Learn From Them. At Seventy-eight, I Know It All.

If I Could Have Dinner With Anyone Who Lived In History, It Would Depend On The Restaurant.

Life Is Just A Bowl Of Pits.