My Biggest Regret In Life Is That

I Spent A Long Time Working In The Movies To Figure Out That Kind Of Acting And Also How To Write And Produce For The Screen.

If You Do Good Work, It Tends To Stick Around. People Still Come Up To Me And Say, "'the Ref' Is My Favorite Christmas Movie."

I Went To School With Steven Wright Who Was The Shyest Guy I Knew, And One Day Someone Suddenly Told Me That He Was In A Club Doing Standup Comedy. I Went Down To His Club And He Was Great. Another Friend Of Mine, Who Was Pretty Much A Thief By Trade, Was Hosting The Show. So I Thought If These Guys Can Do It Then So Can I.

You Just Can't Win. Men Have Very Recent Land Mines In Their Heads. Women Have Recorded Conversations And Photographs In Their Heads From 15 Years Ago.

You Can't Teach Somebody How To Be Funny. You're Either Funny, Or You Ain't.