Men Don't Get Cellulite. God Might Just

Men Would Like Monogamy Better If It Sounded Less Like Monotony.

I Don't Plan To Grow Old Gracefully. I Plan To Have Face-lifts Until My Ears Meet.

Halloween Was Confusing. All My Life My Parents Said, "never Take Candy From Strangers." And Then They Dressed Me Up And Said, "go Beg For It." I Didn't Know What To Do. I'd Knock On People's Doors And Go, "trick Or Treat."

My Father Was Never Very Friendly. When I Was Growing Up, I Thought The Doorbell Ringing Was A Signal To Pretend You Weren't Home.

Waiters And Waitresses Are Becoming Nicer And Much More Caring. I Used To Pay My Check, They Would Say "thank You." That's Now Escalated Into "you Care Care Of Yourself, Now." The Other Day I Paid My Check And The Waiter Said, "don't Put Off That Mammogram."