Maybe I'm Corny, But I'm A Big

Comics Just Don't Retire. They Either Die Young Or They Go To 100.

I Would Vote For You For President But I'm Against Big Government.

I've Actually Tried To Roast Somebody That I Don't Like, And It Doesn't Go Well. Either They're A Bad Sport Or I'm Not As Funny As I Could Be.

Life Is Short. You Have To Be Able To Laugh At Our Pain Or We Never Move On.

I Don't Think It's Unfair To Have Writers. I Think If You're Going To Do A Roast On Television, As If You Were Doing A Play Or You Were Reading A Script Of A Movie, You Would Have The Best Possible Material. And Those Are The People Who Score, The People Who Are Willing To Listen To The Roasting Experts And Then Come Out There And Own That Material.