Let No Man's Deathbed Be A Futon.

If You Want To Feel Less Sexy Put Scotch Tape On Your Nipples.

I Tend To Avoid Televisions, Politics, And Places With Velvet Ropes.

I Was Eating Some Candy And Looked On The Wrapper, And It Said Made From Natural And Artificial Flavors. You Could Just Say Flavors.

Vampires Probably Don't Have Great Breath.

I Like Birthdays. Every Time Someone Is Born, That's Just Like Bringing More Cake Into The World.