Last Halloween I Ran Out Of Candy

Tim Tebow Has Been On The Bench Longer Than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Yesterday Was The New York City Marathon. Republicans Won In A Landslide.

Apparently, There's Something Hinky About The New Iphones. They're Not Hooked Up Right. ... There's A Problem With The Antenna. They Don't Like To Be Held - Like My Ex-wife.

A Lot Of People Think I'm Retiring, But I've Been Telling A Fib. I've Been Forced To Leave This Job Because I Gave $75,000 To The Clinton Foundation.

It's Official, Arnold Said He Will Enter The Race For Governor. At Least That's What Everybody Thinks He Said.