I've Been Married Fifty-five Years And I've

Eighty Is When You Order A Steak And The Headwaiter Puts It Through The Blender. Or When You Wake Up As Many Times During The Night As Burt Reynolds, But Not For The Same Reason.

With Today's Movies, If We Took Out All The Bad Language, We'd Go Back To Silent Films.

Not That They Were That Anxious To See Ronnie As President; They Were Afraid If He Didn't Get Elected, He'd Go Back To Acting.

No One Party Can Fool All Of The People All Of The Time; That's Why We Have Two Parties

As The Colonel And I Sat Swapping Stories In The Plane, A Jet Aircraft Buzzed Past Our Window. I Asked The Colonel What Type Of Aircraft It Was, And He Said, "don't Worry About It, Bob. . . If You Can See It, It's Obsolete."