I'm The Woman Who Used To Think

What I Don't Like About Office Christmas Parties Is Looking For A Job The Next Day.

No Matter What Time Your Guests Arrive, Pretend They're Early, So Naturally You're Not Ready.

A Friend Told Me The Longer You Keep Romano Cheese, The Better It Gets. So, I Kept It Three Years. And This Thing Turned Mean. Now And Then I'd Open The Refrigerator Door And Throw It Some Food. I'd Have To Walk It Now And Then. And Then It Grew This One Leg. And It's Got This Ugly Fuzz All Over It. And The Dogs Won't Run With It.

My Mother-in-law Buys Her Coats In A Carper Shop. She Wears A 9x12.

When I Go To The Beach, Even The Tide Won't Come In.