I'll Do Anything For My Wife, It's

I Used To Be Scared Of Pretty Girls, Until One Confessed They're Just As Scared Of Me.

I'm Not A Republican... But I Am Saving Up To Be One.

I Told My Wife She Looks Sexy With Black Fingernails. Now She Thinks I Slammed The Car Door On Her Hand On Purpose.

One Man's Pet-stained Carpet Is Another Man's Twister Game.

Even The Worst Comic Is At Least Somewhat Entertaining, If Only In A Pathological Way, For Five Minutes.