If It Makes You Feel Any Better

The Answer Isn't Another Pill. The Answer Is Spinach.

A Cult Is A Cult, And That's What A Frat Is. A Place Where They Strip You Of Your Personality And Rebuild It In Their Image.

People Sometimes Say How Standup Is So Hard, And I Always Tell Them That It's Hard At The Beginning.

If We Were A Dog And God Owned Us, The Cops Would Come And Take Us Away.

A President Can Be Unpopular For Good Reasons. You Know, I'm Not Always On The Side That The People Are Right, For God's Sake. But, You Know, He's Not Popular When He Goes Overseas. He Couldn't Go To Rosa Parks' Funeral.