I Was So Ugly My Mother Used

Never Tell Your Wife She's Bad In Bed. She'll Go Out And Get A Second Opinion.

We Were Poor. We Were So Poor, In My Neighborhood The Rainbow Was In Black-and-white.

I Was An Ugly Kid; When I Was Born, After The Doctor Cut The Cord, He Hung Himself.

My Wife And I Were Happy For 20 Years. Then We Met.

My Wife Was Afraid Of The Dark. Then She Saw Me Naked, And Now She's Afraid Of The Light.