I Want To Work For Myself, And

I Have No Connection With Hollywood. I'm Not Interested. I Don't Care.

As I Said In My Last Book, Birds Are Mean. They're The Only Pet That, When They Escape, The Owners Are Relieved. You Can Tell A Species Is Evil By Doing This Simple Math. If My Blond Lab Molly Was The Size Of T-rex, That Would Just Mean More Kibble, More Work For The Gardener In The Backyard, And A Harder Time Moving Her To My Wife's Side Of The Bed At Night. If Birds Were The Size Of A T-rex, The Streets Would Be Littered With Human Remains.

I'm Not Comically Oriented. I Get Angry And I Start Complaining And Then People Start Laughing. I Don't Even Want Them To Laugh Half The Time.

I Give Women Two Types Of Orgasms. Fake And None.

Well, The Post Office Is Probably Not The Place You Want To Go If You Want To Be Infused With Patriotism And A Renewed Sense Of Vigor.