I Think Mitt Romney Is A Symptom.

Only Cowards Push A Button From Thousands Of Miles Away, Or Tens Of Thousands Of Feet Up, To Kill People Who Can't Possibly Fight Back.

Maybe A President Who Didn't Believe Our Soldiers Were Going To Heaven Might Be A Little Less Willing To Get Them Killed.

New Rule: Food Companies Must Face The Facts: One Container Equals One Serving. Look, We’re Americans, And That Means Once We Open The Bag, There’s No Stopping Us Until We’re Licking Stray Bits Of Powdered Cheese Off The Carpet. So Stop Trying To Give Us Nutritional Information Based On A Fraction Of The Package. It Assumes A Talent For Two Things That We’re Really Not Capable Of: Restraint And Math.

The Hollywood Executives Are, Like, ‘we’re Not Racist, We Just Have To Pretend To Be Racists Because We’re Capitalists. We Want To Sell Our Movies In China (and) They Don’t Like Kevin Hart.’

Here's The Thing About Donald Trump: He Never Apologizes. He's Never Wrong, No Matter What Crazy Thing He Says. He's Totally - He's The White Kanye.