I Think It's Hard To Have A

It's Never Good To Fall In Love With Someone Whom You'd Have To Stab In The Eyeballs To Elicit A Response.

You Can't Possibly Fathom The Ins And Outs Of A Prepubescent Beauty Treatment Until You've Felt The Strange But Exhilarating Tingle Of A Cottage-cheese-and-pop-rocks Facial.

I Don't Do Emoticons Unless I'm Making A Big Deal Out Of Them. I'll Type Out, 'this Is So Amusing It Makes Me Want To Grin In Pixels.' And Then Do It.

I'm A Summer Baby, So I Usually Have My Birthday As A Good Summer Memory.

I Called My Mother Immediately To Inform Her That She Was A Bad Parent. "i Can't Believe You Let Us Watch This. We Ate Dinner In Front Of This." "everyone Watched Twin Peaks," Was Her Response. "so, If Everyone Jumped Off The Brooklyn Bridge, Would You Do It, Too?" "don't Be Silly," She Laughed, "of Course I Would, Honey. There'd Be No One Left On The Planet. It Would Be A Very Lonely Place.