I Think Fur Looks Better On An

I Think The Whole Concept Of Monotheism Is A Gift From The Gods.

I Asked The Head Musician If I Could Go Onstage During The Next Break And He Said Sure. I Got Two Laughs In Twenty Minutes, And Walked Out Feeling More Elated Than I Had Ever Felt In My Entire Life. The Glory Of That Triumph Contented Me For Two Full Years.

I Was Walking Home One Night And A Guy Hammering On A Roof Called Me A Paranoid Little Weirdo. In Morse Code.

I Don't Know If I Have Sexual Magnetism Or Animal Magnetism, Though Sometimes I'll Find A Squirrel Stuck To My Forehead.

I Love My Family. I Came Home The Other Days. My Brother's Passed-out On The Couch, Holding An Empty Bottle Of Sleeping Pills. So I Called The Paramedics, And They Pumped His Stomach, And I Think He's Learned His Lesson: You Know, Never To Take My Last Two Sleeping Pills.