I Never Dreamed I Would Receive The

I Grew Up In A Family Of Republicans. And When I Was 18 And Registering To Vote, My Mom’s Only Instruction Was ‘you Just Go In And Pull The Big Republican Lever.’ That’s My Welcome To Adulthood. She’s Like, ‘no, Don’t Even Read It. Just Pull The Republican Lever.

I Was Like, Oh, I Want To Sign Up For "catwoman," And Then Anne Hathaway Had Already Signed Up For It.

You All Watched A Sketch About Feminism And You Didn't Even Know It Because Of All The Jokes. It's Like When Jessica Seinfeld Puts Spinach In Kids' Brownies. Suckers!

I Believe In Process. I Believe That Having A Really Difficult Process Is More Valuable Than A Good Outcome.

Whenever You See Me, I'm On Antique Quaaludes.