I Knew It... I'm Surrounded By Assholes!

I Was A Soldier In Wwii. The Last Couple Of Months Of The War I Was Actually In Combat.

When I Was A Little Kid At Home, I Thought The Whole World Was Jewish. For Years I Thought Roosevelt Was Jewish. I Loved Him. I Thought Of Him As My Father. I'm Always Stunned When I Find Out That People Like Roosevelt And Tolstoy Weren't Jewish. How Could I Love Them So Much?

You Want To Be As Smart As You Can About Being Stupid.

I Was Born On The Kitchen Table. We Were So Poor My Mother Couldn't Afford To Have Me; The Lady Next Door Gave Birth To Me.

He Who Hesitates Is Poor.