I Have Fun Acting, And I Want

When I Was In High School I Experimented Sexually. The Experiment Was To Never Have Sex With Anybody No Matter How Hard I Tried. Success! Hypothesis Confirmed.

I Wish My Name Started With A Comma. That Would Be So Dramatic.

I Like People, For A Little While.

If You Happen To Catch On Fire During The Show, Do Not Panic Or Wave Your Arms Around Or Scream Or We Wil Give Something To Panic And Wave You Arms Around And Scream About.

If I Make My Window Ten Days For Stand-up, The Conclusion Is That I Failed And That I'm Not Good At Stand-up. If I Make It Ten Years - If I Just Wait - The Conclusion Might Be Something Totally Different. I Think It's So Cool To Do Things In Which You Discover The Malleability Of Your Own Mind.