I Have Been In A Lot Of

My Mother Would Say, Before I Left The House, 'remember Art, Hugs Are Better Than Drugs.' And I Believed My Mother, I Believed Everything She Said - Until The First Time I Got High At A Party. I Leaned Back, And I Went, 'god, This Is Way Better Than When My Uncle Perry Hugs Me. What Else Has My Mother Been Lying To Me About?

Artie Is Going To Do What Ever Artie Wants To Do.

I'm Very Resilient. The Only Thing I'm Missing Right Now Are Abs.

I Used To Be A Longshoreman. I Didn't Go To College. I Have A Voice That When I Say Something, It Can Sound Way Meaner Than You Think It Is.

I Quit Drinking, And I Figure If I Go To Ten Yankee Games This Year Without Drinking I'll Save $32,000.